pouting and moping

Haaaaaaahh. All I can do is sigh. All I can do is hold out. All I can do is keep thinking that I only have to spend 3,5 more years or 42 more months or 1278 more days in this blistering city.

O my God. I just make it seems worse.

Tomorrow I’ll begin my…life. I think. Oh God, could You just hand me the remote? Pleeeeeaase…. So I can skip those horrible days.

Oh. Come on! Stop pouting and moping! Chin up!

Haaaaaahh.

I arrived at surabaya this morning. Once I entered my room, I realized that my room was smelled like moss. Ugh. It made me feel even worse, it made me missing my cozy room at home. Awww.

Like it didn’t bad enough, I still had the scent of my home sweet home and especially my mom’s scent, right under my nose.

I miss you already mom. Aku juga kangen maen-maen sama keponakanku yang hiperaktif. Ngobrol-ngobrol bodoh.

Keponakan : na, kenapa si cat itu warna-warni? Asalnya dari mana si, na?

Aku : Hum? Dari pelangi.

Keponakan : (manggut-manggut)

Keponakan : na, kenapa power ranger putih kok senjatanya pake kipas si, na?

Aku : berarti power ranger-nya itu penari.

Keponakan : (manggut-manggut). Terus kenapa orang tua rambutnya putih?

Aku : soalnya suka dibikin pusing sama anaknya.

Keponakan : berarti na suka bikin pusing oma dong!

Aku : ....

Never mind.

You know what, I’ve just been thinking. I’ll be 20 in a month. It means I’m getting older, obviously. My point is, I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to be a grown-up. I mean, I still wanna being pampered by my mom. I still wanna sleep in her warm arms every night.

I used to think that grown-up means being independent, married and settling down with my own family, having a couple of cute babies, bla bla bla. It’s a simple thing. But I hadn’t mull over the main point. Grown-up also means that I have to live separately from my mom. Duh-uh.

No. I can’t do that. Yet.