Tick tock tick tock

It’s like that ticking sound haunting me, everywhere, everytime. I think I had a screw loose.

I don’t wanna counting down. But that’s what’s happening right now. And I just can’t make it stop ticking.

I felt like I’d hit the fast forward button. Everything’s doubled speed. Take a deep breath, stupid.

I’ve just watched tv one chanel. It’s a talk show and Siti Fadillah Supari was there. That talk show was talking about healthy issue in Indonesia. I always adore her. She’s so brilliant, assertive, credible, and of course, elegant. That talk show took my mind off. Temporary.

But as long as it’s only an temporary effect, I started whimpering again.

It’s so much easier when I was still in high school. All these grown-up things smack me like a wrecking ball. I don’t know if I can keep up. I can’t see nothing but my dark, indistinct, and looming future.

I wanna pause everything. Or maybe skip everything right until I graduate from that horrible school. Oh. I really wish I have the remote.

Or maybe let’s just forget that impossible remote. All I want right now are:

My mom,

More time,

More money,

That’s not as much for me to ask, is it? Hufff… Another sigh I guess.

I’m going to go to Surabaya tonight, midnight train. For administration thing. I think I’ll just start whimpering again.

my babies and me

well,here we go, my babies and me..
























actually i've had these books since january 27th..

I’m a chicken. And I hate my life.

My holiday is until 2^nd march, actually it’s long enough for most people. Well, but not for me.

Something’s frightening me now. In fact, I never tought about that thing before, but since dita mentioned it, I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. And it starts freaking me out.

I’ll begin my 4^th term soon after my holiday’s over. Dita said,” Well, this is it. We’ll start the hardest time in our college, clinic class.” It’s a simple sentence. It should means nothing to me. Out of my luck, it meant big thing to me.

It makes me don’t wanna end my holiday, I want my holiday lasts forever. Okay, I know. I’m a chicken, a pathetic one. But what can I do? Nothing, really.

I have to face it. Whether I’m ready or not. Ooh my. For now, I hate my life.

stupid lists

Oh man..

Ternyata having holiday di rumah tanpa mobil itu ekuivalen dengan membusuk. I truly really have nothing to do here. Sekarang kerjaanku di rumah adalah bangun tidur-mandi-bantuin mama masak-bersihin rumah-bantuin adek belajar-menyiram bunga di halaman-menjahit-menyulam. Translation: bangun-makan-tidur-ngegangguin kucing tetangga-tidur lagi-makan lagi-dst.

Berhubung aku terisolasi dirumah, kegiatan yang paling bisa aku lakukan is watching tv, local channel. It’s more entertaining, yeahh, you know why.

Ini sembari ngetik, I’m watching Indosiar which is relaying a sinetron. Tontonan wajib di rumah. And oh-ya-ampun itu sinetron is so free—eak. Ada bayi yang punya mata ketiga dijidatnya. Ada juga cewek yang pergi ke pasar naek unicorn/flying horse/kuda terbang,whatever. Like it doesn’t weird enough, there’s another sinetron which uses arabic in its dialog. Originally arabic. Bukan cuma ane-ente doang, tapi bener-bener bahasa arab, berkalimat-kalimat. Dan yang jadi pemeran utama sinetron itu titi kamal, ya ampun. Pasti fee-nya gede banget. Kalo ga mana mau titi kamal ngapalin dialog pake bahasa arab? Mending dangdutan kemana-mana dah.

Ehem.

I found my diary when I was in high school. And well, that diary is so-high-school. I can’t believe I could be so absurd. I made some lists in that diary, stupid lists, example: a list of movies I like, yeaah, things like that. Contoh ni yaa..(uncensored)

Kisah2 Favoritku Sepanjang Masa…

1. Full House (hmm.. acceptable..)
2. Titanic (very accetable, I think..)
3. Eiffel… I’m in Love (Ehem.. selera masa muda)
4. Fairish
5. De Buron
6. Haiii..Miiko! (Whooops..sampe sekarang juga masi demen!)
7. Inuyasha
8. Beauty and The Beast (my naive side taking control..)
9. Mulan
10. Spiderman 2
11. Throbbing Tonight
12. Initial D
13. Dae Janggeum
14. Con Air
15. The New Police Story

Note: Oia, walaopun ada angka urutannya, tapi itu bukan berarti aku paling suka full house atau paling ga suka police story, itu urutan nontonnya. Jadi aku nonton full house duluan, police story terakhir.

I have other list in that diary:

Boys Who Can Melt Me Down…

1. Michael Moscovitz from Princess Diary
2. Tappei Eguchi from Hai..Miiko!
3. Lee Young Jae from Full House
4. Inuyasha
5. Marcel Chandrawinata (ehehee..gotchme!)
6. Adit from Eiffel I’m in Love (yeah yeahh, I know. Still trying to boost up my taste here)
7. Shoubu from Heart (ooohhh… if you’ve seen this delicious dude…)
8. Tamahome from Fushigi Yuugi (W-O-W)
9. Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy
10. Keanu Reeves
11. Jesse McCartney (huum, I’m not really into him anymore)
12. Vino G. Bastian (well, he’s pretty irresistable)
13. Jo In Sung
14. Takumi Fujiwara from Intial D
15. Marc Blucas
16. Warren Peace from Sky High
17. Dimas Beck (Dimas Beck?? The putus nyambung boy??O my God, did I relly write him on my list???)
18. Min Jung Ho from Dae Janggeum
19. Raeshard
20. Gelombang (nana wrote this one, but I was actually into him, he’s cute anyway)
21. Egi John (you know, that sinetron boy)

Note: Idem. This list neither means I loved Michael Moscovits most nor Egi John least. I just loved every single boy in this list.

That was my list. WAS. And I think I wannna make another one. Berhubung pengetahuan tentang cowok-cowok ganteng lokalku lagi hot-hotnya (thanks to our local channels), I wanna make this list:

Lelaki-lelaki Sluuuurpie on My Mind Rite Now are…

1. Christian Sugiono!!! Ya ampuuuuuun….He’s so adorable…
2. Edward Cullen (why he’s at number 2? Becos he made a very big huge hole in my heart, and it’s still bleeding)
3. Fernando Torres (yummy…)
4. Tommy Kurniawan (hehe, ini gara-gara sinetron Hareem, haha norak berat gua)
5. Gustavo Chena (ahahaa, ini gara-gara nonton bola sama papa)
6. Andhika Gumilang (cowok yang di iklan x-mild, “ekspresinya manaaaaaa???”)
7. Andrew Andreas (the guy in axe’s commercial, Asmirandah flattered him)

Hooooohh. Writing about those mesmerising guys makes me drooling all over the table. Got to clean up! Ciao.