Monday, March 23, 2009

Yay! My digesting system is back on track!

Pernah mengalami penyakit susah boker ga? Atau jarang boker? Well, I had lately. Dan itu rasanya sangat tidak nyaman. Ga sakit sih, tapi ga enak juga. Gejalanya antara lain:

  1. susah kentut
  2. perut kembung
  3. perut membuncit (euuhh...)

Logically, kalau kita jarang boker seharusnya perut juga tidak bakalan cepet laper dong? Nah, the problem is I was almost always hungry. Makan porsi tumpeng, tapi beberapa jam kemudian udah laper lagi. Terus juga, walaupun udah makan kaya kuli, perut penuhnya minta ampun, tapi tetep ga bisa boker. Biarpun udah ngejogrok di WC sejam, buat mancing boker, hasilnya nihil men. Kalaupun berhasil boker, tapi pasti dikiiiiiiiiit banget! Minum vegeta, nggak begitu berpengaruh. Sekali boker, udah. Abis itu macet lagi. Tapi semenjak aku puasa minggu lalu, my digesting system is eventually getting normal. Tiap pagi mulai rutin buang sampah pencernaan. It’s sooooo relieving to have your body working normally. Heeeemmm, kalau pinjem istilah dela “seperti terlahir kembali!”. Dahsyat.

Duh, seharusnya sekarang aku mengerjakan tugas kuliah yang udah mulai numpuk. But I’m so not in the mood. Kaya sekarang misalnya, malah ngeblog.

I should be:

1. berhenti tidur saat seharusnya sedang mengerjakan tugas

2. berhenti maen game saat seharusnya sedang mengerjakan tugas

3. berhenti online saat seharusnya sedang mengerjakan tugas

4. berhenti nonton dvd saat seharusnya sedang mengerjakan tugas

5. berhenti ngegosip ga penting sama inka saat seharusnya sedang mengerjakan tugas

6. berhenti ngeblog saat seharusnya sedang mengerjakan tugas

See? Life is tough. Hidupku begitu penuh godaan duniawi.

I’m wondering now. Long weekend minggu ini ngapain ya? Pengennya sih:

  1. outbond rame-rame
  2. Maen paint ball
  3. bersepeda di hutan
  4. maen ke pantai
  5. nonton ello
  6. berenang (aka maen air because I can’t swim. Haha.)
  7. rafting (this is the very last choice aja. Takut tenggelam, terus ditangkep buaya atau komodo)

Yah, minimal ga muluk-muluk lah, I yearn spending this long weekend with my bffs above all.

Oia, beberapa hari lalu ketemu lelaki tampan. And he’s definitely out of my reach. Great. My life does tough.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tiny Little Me

Hey, how big do you think you are?

Maybe you’re tall, you’re large, you have everything you want, you’re just simply prefect. But I felt tiny.

It’s raining now, heavily. And now I’m having this thunderbolt backsound. And it got me thinking.

Have you ever imagined how big the world is? We’re, the human being, only the invisible spot on it. So powerless, feeble, and frequently, helpless.

Only in one Lord’s finger snap, everything may change. My life had been changed lately. Worse. And harder.

If Lord wants anything, I mean anything, to happen, well, what can we do to stop it? Nothing, really.

I’ll be willingly use up all of my energy for my family, my whole family. Recently, I barely think about anything else but my family. I also have a dream. My dream is I wanna see my family smile so widely, which I scarcely saw it these days, forever. Or i.e. happily ever after. And I want it so bad to be true. But there’s hardly something I can do to bring it into reality. I’ve been living in hope of Lord’s compassion to bring it into reality.

I’m so scared. The world seems extremely too big for me. Especially without my family around.

Oh, ya ampun. Aku baru sadar, aku lebih sering mengeluh, bersedih, bermuram durja di blog. My blog is deadly gloomy. Maybe I’m in the middle of dark life phase. Well, I think I am.

Dear God, please help me through this phase. I beg You.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Focus!

I’ve been attending the lecture for 2 days now. But it feels like a whole week already. Okay, stop. I won’t complain anymore. I hope.

It’s only the beginning. I don’t have any assignment, yet. Because like I said, it’s only the beginning. So I still have some spare time to spend.

There’s something I’m about to confess. Well, here it is. I think I’m an absolute daydreamer. And it bothers me, especially when I was attending the lecture.

A case in point: I was listening to the lecturer, while he said “dokter gigi jaman sekarang harus mampu mengembangkan kemampuan di bidang wirausaha, mengikuti perkembangan teknologi, seperti internet…” and then I started daydreaming oh iya ah, tar mau online ke ophie ah. Sekalian nge-upload blog sama download lagu-lagu baru! Lagu apa yaa… oh iya, lagunya elbow kemaren belom semuanya didownload, mau nyari lagunya jay chou juga deh… Obviously I missed the following sentence from the lecturer. When I realized that my mind is clearly somewhere else but the lecture hall, “eh, apa tadi? Kok tiba-tiba si dosen ngomongin tanaman obat sih? Haduuuuuhh…

Contoh laen: “kalian harus belajar menjadi entrepreneur, harus kreatif, inovatif, dapat mengkonsumsi informasi dari …” Then it happened again, aduh, iya nih laper. Tar lagi makan apa ya. Pingin bu etik nih. Saus, kecap, sama sambelnya dibanyakin ah, heeemmm, slurp slurp! Eh, baidewei enterblablabla tadi artinya apa ya? Duhh.

Bisa juga kaya begini: dosen as usual lagi ngoceh di depan, terus tiba-tiba inka sama dela mulai bisik-bisik seru ngegosip sendiri, “eh ka, mas novan gimana?”, dan inka menjawab, “au tu del. Masa ya mas novan itu …” Akhirnya malah lebih konsen dengerin inka dela bisik-bisik daripada dengerin dosen. Haduh haduh.

It happens all the time. I’d assembled a great amount of elbow greese to keep focusing on the lecture. Apparently, I drew a blank.

Enough is enough. I’ve gotta work on it harder. Keep focus.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

pouting and moping

Haaaaaaahh. All I can do is sigh. All I can do is hold out. All I can do is keep thinking that I only have to spend 3,5 more years or 42 more months or 1278 more days in this blistering city.

O my God. I just make it seems worse.

Tomorrow I’ll begin my…life. I think. Oh God, could You just hand me the remote? Pleeeeeaase…. So I can skip those horrible days.

Oh. Come on! Stop pouting and moping! Chin up!

Haaaaaahh.

I arrived at surabaya this morning. Once I entered my room, I realized that my room was smelled like moss. Ugh. It made me feel even worse, it made me missing my cozy room at home. Awww.

Like it didn’t bad enough, I still had the scent of my home sweet home and especially my mom’s scent, right under my nose.

I miss you already mom. Aku juga kangen maen-maen sama keponakanku yang hiperaktif. Ngobrol-ngobrol bodoh.

Keponakan : na, kenapa si cat itu warna-warni? Asalnya dari mana si, na?

Aku : Hum? Dari pelangi.

Keponakan : (manggut-manggut)

Keponakan : na, kenapa power ranger putih kok senjatanya pake kipas si, na?

Aku : berarti power ranger-nya itu penari.

Keponakan : (manggut-manggut). Terus kenapa orang tua rambutnya putih?

Aku : soalnya suka dibikin pusing sama anaknya.

Keponakan : berarti na suka bikin pusing oma dong!

Aku : ....

Never mind.

You know what, I’ve just been thinking. I’ll be 20 in a month. It means I’m getting older, obviously. My point is, I’m not ready yet. I’m not ready to be a grown-up. I mean, I still wanna being pampered by my mom. I still wanna sleep in her warm arms every night.

I used to think that grown-up means being independent, married and settling down with my own family, having a couple of cute babies, bla bla bla. It’s a simple thing. But I hadn’t mull over the main point. Grown-up also means that I have to live separately from my mom. Duh-uh.

No. I can’t do that. Yet.