It’s like that ticking sound haunting me, everywhere, everytime. I think I had a screw loose.
I don’t wanna counting down. But that’s what’s happening right now. And I just can’t make it stop ticking.
I felt like I’d hit the fast forward button. Everything’s doubled speed. Take a deep breath, stupid.
I’ve just watched tv one chanel. It’s a talk show and Siti Fadillah Supari was there. That talk show was talking about healthy issue in Indonesia. I always adore her. She’s so brilliant, assertive, credible, and of course, elegant. That talk show took my mind off. Temporary.
But as long as it’s only an temporary effect, I started whimpering again.
It’s so much easier when I was still in high school. All these grown-up things smack me like a wrecking ball. I don’t know if I can keep up. I can’t see nothing but my dark, indistinct, and looming future.
I wanna pause everything. Or maybe skip everything right until I graduate from that horrible school. Oh. I really wish I have the remote.
Or maybe let’s just forget that impossible remote. All I want right now are:
That’s not as much for me to ask, is it? Hufff… Another sigh I guess.
I’m going to go to Surabaya tonight, midnight train. For administration thing. I think I’ll just start whimpering again.