somebody's me

It’s drizzling outside. Romantis abis. Haha.

Akhir-akhir ini my puppy pet sering muncul di facebook, entah meng-update status atau apa. Well, biasanya kalau aku sering ngebaca status seseorang, lama-lama akan ngerasa lebih “tau”, lebih intim, tentang orang itu. But this, is different.

Semakin sering ngeliat malah terasa semakin fiksi. Semakin tidak nyata. Like he’s only my imagination. Buatku, that puppy pet malah jauh lebih tidak nyata dari The Beast di Beauty and The Beast. All those memories, reminiscence, are fading away. Seolah-olah semuanya benar-benar cuma imajinasiku.

Maybe that’s why I was so happy to be in contact with his girl. So I can convince myself that all those memories was true, a fact of life.

It’s not only pathetic, but also not healthy.

Questions, will never figure them out

A face, will always linger in my mind

Eyes, too clear to stare

Distance, will never taper off

Memories, will always be recalled joyfully

Longing, will never be achieved

Tears, I couldn’t cry

They will haunting me. Everywhere. Everytime.

A Little Review RASA and Angels and Demons

Kemarin aku nonton Rasa, filmnya abang Christian Sugiono, bertiga dita sama inka. I wanted to watch that movie since Christian put a poster of that movie on his official blog. Dari awal ngeliat poster filmnya aku mulai curiga. Genre film ini apa? Ceritanya kaya gimana? I’d been wondering. I’d browsing for the synopsis, too, but I got nothing. Sampai detik terakhir sebelum aku nonton Rasa, I still believed that I was about to watch a drama movie or something like that. Dan begitu filmnya dimulai, aku mulai curiga, kayanya Rasa itu genre-nya horor deh. Great. Like I’d be able to watch such movie. I was still trying to keep think positive. Nggak mungkin ini film horor, pasti cuman awalnya aja yang dark and gloomy. Bentar lagi pasti mulai cerah ceria. That’s what I was trying to say to myself.

Tapi apa mau dikata. Maksud hati memeluk gunung, tapi tangan tak sampai. Backsoundnya mulai heboh dan ngagetin. Mulai muncul penampakan-penampakan yang tidak diinginkan. I just couldn’t help it. Aku mulai tutup telinga tutup mata. And that was what I did for almost the whole duration.







Inti ceritanya sih tentang Rianti (Pevita Pierce) yang punya kemampuan untuk melihat suatu penglihatan tentang hal yang akan terjadi dan melukiskannya di atas kanvas. Anak profesor Anthony yang bernama Mariah diculik dan Rianti melihat dan melukisnya. Begitu tahu tentang kemampuan Rianti, Anthony meminta bantuan Rianti untuk mencari anaknya.

Nah lo, pasti bingung mikirin “Loh terus Christian Sugiononya manaaaa?”. Aku juga sebenernya kurang paham apa fungsi dari karakter Wisnu yang diperankan sama Christian Sugiono. Which is yang di poster filmnya foto Christian Sugiono gede banget, mendominasi. Tapi ternyata itu cuman tipuan. Menurutku karakter Wisnu itu cuman kaya tambahan doang. Pemanis. Penarik penonton. Wisnu di film cuma berperan mendorong dan menguatkan si Rianti yang emang digambarkan suram, lemah, dan fragile. Udah mana entah kenapa akting abang Christian dimataku masih keliatan kaku. Banget. Aktingnya sama aja kaya di Dunia Mereka waktu dia masih baru-baru muncul. Too bad.

Tapi untungya aku nonton bareng dita. Everything’s got much funnier. Dialog-dialog Christian sama Pevita yang menurutku agak sinetron, jadi terasa so silly kalau didengerin dengan dita disebelahku. Kita bolak-balik cekikikan ngedengerin kata-kata cinta Wisnu buat Rianti.
Rianti : itu bukan cinta, Wisnu! Itu kasihan. Kamu kasihan sama aku!
Wisnu : bukan, Ri. Itu bukan kasihan. Itu kasih.
Kita berdua kompak langsung cekikikan heboh. Kalo aja kita nggak inget kalo lagi nonton di bioskop, kita pasti udah ketawa ngakak.

Ada satu scene yang bikin kita ketawa ngakak tanpa bisa ditahan. Yaitu scene dimana Rianti Cartwright muncul tiba-tiba sebagai cameo. Itu scene bego abis. Hahahhahaaa.

Sedangkan inka, yang emang dari awal udah males-malesan, sepanjang film jadi maki-maki mulu. Well, since kita emang ga maksa inka nonton, I don’t feel sorry for her, hehheee. No offense kaa. It’s a risk she’s got to take. Emang resiko kan kalo mau nonton film, kita bakalan suka sama filmnya atau kita bakalan nyesel. Aku emang beneran menyesal. Tapi bukan karena terlanjur bayar tiket, tapi menyesal kenapa filmnya Christian harus kaya begitu. I am not sorry for the ticket I paid. Soalnya pasti aku bakalan penasaran kalau sampe nggak nonton.

Well, that’s it for the review I think.

Dua hari kemarin kayanya merupakan hari sushi deh. I had sushi in two days in a row. Hari Sabtu makan sushi di Sushi Tei GM, hari Minggu ditraktir dela makan sushi di Sushi Tei TP. Hmmm. Nice.

Tujuan utama makan di TP sebenarnya buat foto di Onix. And we’re so freaking pretty. Haha.






Oh iyaaaa. Hari Sabtunya aku juga abis nonton Angels and Demons. Yah, emang filmnya keren. Malah mungkin bagi kebanyakan orang keren banget. But that movie is just so not my type. Genrenya aja udah thriller. Jadi susah buatku buat suka sama Angels and Demons. But, yes, over all the movie is great.





Plotnya rumit tapi masih bisa diikuti bahkan tanpa membaca atau menonton film sebelumnya, The Da Vinci Code. Film diawali dengan pembunuhan seorang peneliti di sebuah laboratorium. Profesor Langdon dipanggil untuk membantu menyelesaikan kasus sementara penculikan calon Paus baru dan ancaman bom datang. Pretty interesting, isn’t it?

well, not for me. heheheee...

Looking forward for monday..

I really envy her. He's so adorable. And prefect. And so gorgeus. And gentle.

*sigh*

Postingan yang Randomer

Surabaya is chilling! Wow. Sebenarnya buatku nggak dingin-dingin amat. Sejuk. Hmmm. Nice. I feel like I’m in Forks. Hahahaa. I wish. Abisan biasanya Surabaya itu bagai Kenya yang menyamar jadi Surabaya. Panasnya amit-amit. Terus sekarang tiba-tiba, ada angin ada ujan, Surabaya jadi dingin. Actually, it’s a bit weird. It’s in the middle of May. It’s supposed to be dry season. Yah, sebenernya mungkin nggak aneh sih. The weathers all over the world has been weird lately. It’s because of global warming, of course. Which reminds me of Knowing. Urgh.

Okay next subject, please!

I watched Wolverine last week. Which is not bad. Not bad at all, actually. For me, the whole movie is cool. The plot is interesting. The fighting scene is awesome. The actors and actreeses were great. But the prominent thing is the Wolverine himself. I mean Hugh Jackman is wow. He’s so sexy. His biseps, his back, his chest, his six-pack stomach, is prefect. Again, wow. Tapi sayangnya Wolverine kurang meninggalkan kesan mendalam di diri, di aku maksudnya. Plotnya emang menarik. Tapi kurang berkesan. Sebenarnya emotional conflict-nya juga ada. Tapi ya itu tadi. Kurang nendang, hahahaa. So it doesn’t make me wanna watch it all over again and again, like Twilight, for instance. Or Bourne Supremacy. Or Beauty and The Beast.

Yumm.

Oh. One thing. I’ve got the tickets to Jember! Hahahaa. Sweet.

Got to go. Mau mandi terus langsung ke kampus. *sigh*

Tulisan Random

Dudidaam didaam..

Huuumm.. lately, surabaya lagi sering ujan.. dan tiap kali ujan, ujannya agak-agak heboh gitu. And of course, the side effect of it is banyak orang yang jadi sakit. Contoh paling gampang yaitu inka. Inka mah ga usah musim ujan juga udah hobi sakit siih.

Anywaay... Yah, oke aku ngaku deeh. Sebenernya seharusnya sekarang aku harus belajar farmako sama konservasi. But I have sooooo many things distract me. Great. Like I need more distraction than before. Adaaaa aja gangguan dan godaan yang muncul. Yang paling menggoda yaitu my blackberry. My hands just reach it over automatically, like every five minutes. I just can’t help it. Terus juga ada the twilight saga. Bentar-bentar “baca twilight bentaar aaaaahh” and then it ended up with I read two chapters at least.

Gimana yah caranya biar keep focus?? It’s just getting harder to concentrate on study.

Bakalan ada long weekend lagi next week. I’m considering to go home. I haven’t decided anything yet. But I think going home is a quite well plan.

Another good news: aku udah mulai bisa makan sushi. My first acceptable sushi: baked salmon maki. Thanks to inka. Heheee. Now I’m yearning some more baked salmon maki. Padahal seharusnya hemat. Urgh.

Surabaya lagi dingin nih. Enak. Tapi jadi sering kebelet pipis dah. Heeemm. Sejuk gitu deh. I always like rain. Oke ralat, I always like gerimis. Kalo ujannya terlalu gede aku takut ah. Takut petir kilat, takut mati lampu, takut bocor, takut becek. Paling enak kalo lagi ujan tu kita lagi dirumah ato paling nggak dikamar kosan deh. Pintu kosan dibuka dikit jadi angin dinginnya masuk. Terus tiduran sambil dengerin musik sambil baca buku. Hmmm.

Atau ujan pas lagi dimobil. I like that, too. Ngeliat tetesan ujan di kaca mobil asik juga. Lampu-lampu mobil sama lampu jalan yang a bit blurry gara-gara ujan, memantul di aspal yang basah kena air ujan. It’s so beautiful. Asal jangan ngelewatin jalanan banjir terus mobilnya mogok terus terpaksa kita naek getek. Well that’s not cool.

Duuhh. Seharusnya mulai belajar lagi ni. But i’m so not in the mood. Kata dita si mood belajar tuh harus dipaksain. Tapi ga segampang itu ternyata. Kalo dipaksain belajar, malah ga masuk. Huuuhh.


Aku lagi pengen baca banyak hal.
1. The complete twilight saga. Yang bahasa inggris
2. kungfu boy
3. Jurnal buat BO
Itu aja ding. Ga banyak ternyata. Hehe.

Pengen punya modem nih. Enaknya kalo ga perlu ke warnet buat upload postingan blog baru. Bisa download lagu kapan aja. Bisa nyari apa aja. Maen facebook kapan aja. Ya ampun. Semakin banyak distraction dong.

Oh iyaaa. Kemaren abis nonton the other boleyn girl. A great movie I think. It shows us, how women are always repressed. Sovereignty always belongs to the men. It’s all the same. I’m so grateful aku tidak lahir pada jaman pra emansipasi. Anne Boleyn is a very bright woman. She’s great at diplomacy and seducing the king. Sayangnya Anne Boleyn terlalu terobsesi dengan King Henry VIII dan kedudukan. Too bad.

Anne Boleyn yang asli.


Natalie Portman as Anne Boleyn in The Other Boleyn Girl. Lumayan mirip.

Dohh. Bosen abiiss. Sometimes I wanna go crazy all night long. Having fun. Yahh semisal ajeb-ajeb. Tapi kayanya bakalan susah terwujud. Aku sendiri ga terlalu yakin apa aku emang bener-bener pengen pergi ajeb-ajeb.

Haaaaahhh. Apa mandi aja ya sekarang? Mandi, nggak, mandi, nggak, mandi, nggak, mandi, nggak. Pilihan kegiatannya ga ada yang asik nih. Kalo ga mandi, belajar. Ha ha. Ya udah deh. Mandi aja apa? Eh, tapi abis mandi biasanya malah ngantuk. Hadoohh. Bingung. Apa nonton dvd? No freaking way. Ga boleh. Ya udaah deeh. Mandi ajaa. Huhuuuh.

so numb

Okay. I’m in the middle of my mid test. I still got two days left, but I’m jaded already. It’s like those mid tests’ve sucked all of my energy and left me nothing. I’ve been gloomy all the time. Oh God. I don’t even know what I really want right now.


I miss my mom. Soooooooo mucchhhh that it’s killing me. But at the same time it hurts me so bad to see her saying goodbye at the station. For now, I don’t wanna go home. But things force me to go home.


Oh. One more thing that makes me miserable. I envy usi and titi kamal. They have someone. And they’re absolutely certain as the sun that their someone is really “the one”. Great. Where’s my very own christian sugiono???


Kalo lagi kaya gini, jadi pengen punya pacar. I think I need someone to distract me from thinking horrible things. I think I need someone to hold my hand and strengthen me. I think I need someone who looks at me right in the eyes and says that everything’s gonna be just fine. I think I need someone who will always be there and save me when I fall down. And most of all, I think I need someone who lightens me up.


I said “I think I need”, didn’t I? Well, I think I don’t really want someone. Like I said, I don’t know what I want. I’ve lost my direction. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know where to go. I attend the lectures, I hang out with my friend, I laugh with my friend, I watch movies, I go here and there. But I feel nothing. I feel numb. Guess I’ve lost my passion as well. I feel like a robot doing its routine activities.


What’s going on with me?

I’m a pathetic moron bitch

I’ve been a stupid since loong time ago. But since yesterday, I’m a bitch too.

I had a responsibility. I only had to keep something safe. But what did I do? I lost the thing. It’s a simple job and I failed it. I’m an actual moron.

I have a friend, a close friend. I always adore her. But what did I do? I dated her ex, whom she still loves. What was I thinking?? She’s my friend, for God’s sake! I think it’s about the fucking "jablai" thing. I never supposed that I’m that bitchy "jablai" apparently.

I’m sooo pathetic. Dating her ex makes me even worse. For all this time, I’ve been okay with my single status. I didn’t ask for a man in a desperate way. Sometimes maybe I want a boyfriend, but if I don’t have one then it’s okay with me.
But yesterday, I remember how it feels having a boyfriend. Ada orang dengan ukuran badan yang jauh lebih besar ada disampingmu. Ada suara berat yang mengobrol dan tertawa denganmu. Ada orang yang akan memaksamu menghabiskan makananmu, tapi kemudian malah memakan makanan itu sambil tertawa. Ada sesuatu yang membuatmu gelisah saat tanpa sengaja menyentuh kulitnya. Ada orang yang akan menunjukkan arah yang benar kalau kau tersesat. Ada yang akan mencegahmu bertabrakan dengan orang lain atau menjagamu saat menyeberangi jalan. I remember how safe you can be with a man beside you.

I shouldn’t do this. This is wrong. So wrong. But I can’t help enjoying it. I think that’s why we call it guilty plesure.

being shallow

Oh my God. Have you ever met someone who never had a self-actualization?? I’ll tell you how it feels. It’s totally annoying.

It’s like you’d never been appreciated when you was in wherever you came from. And when you reached this whereabouts, your head turned so BIG, like you’re the it girl. Well, you’re NOT obviously.

It’s so ridiculous hearing you blow your own horn, like you’d done such really classy job while you HADN’T.

I’t’s like you’ve never been reputed beautiful, sophisticated, dazzling, or fabulous. It’s like you’ve been invisible all the time, and now suddenly when people starts recognizing you, please note, just recognizing you, and then you start thinking that you’re some kind of miss universe.

Maybe you think that I’m jealous. Not even close. I’m so fed up with all of your glory of your “actualization”. All that actualization you have right now, I had it like since centuries ago. And I even never mentioned it. Well, a.k.a: BIASA AJA KALEEE.

Okay. I got to be calmed down. Haha. Every now and then you show-off, I’ll just ketawa pake idung. Hahaha.

No no no. I’m just being a stupid petty. I mean, what’s wrong with being a non self-actualization? Memangnya kenapa kalau belum mencapai aktualisasi diri? Memangnya kenapa kalau merasa bangga dengan diri sendiri? Aku tidak boleh berpikiran picik dan dangkal. Tidak ada salahnya punya teman yang bisa bangga dengan dirinya sendiri. I’m just being shallow. Duuhh-uh.